*
*
At the end of my day, a little link caught my eye as I quickly scanned those pesky little emails. I calmly sat back, in awe as I viewed this short film. An amazing post courtesy of a fellow couch-surfer. It caught me and wouldn't let go. Here it is. Come back when you're done.
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Watch this...
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.
.
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When I finished that sweet movie, a creepy thought skittered through my mind. I was disturbed that it came up at all, because I really enjoyed that beautiful true-in-life vignette and was feeling the warmth of it all. Was my wandering mind the result of the nasty politics playing out around the world? I don't know.
But I couldn't help but think of all the many wars waged, so many 'killings' so many, many reasons, seasons after seasons, sunrise, sunset, battlefields ablaze. Before the Quiet.
And then, sometimes, not all the time, sometimes, the one left standing, 'the victor' turns around to support and bring up those they just tore down.
Why must we create havoc in the first place? Is it truly all about survival?
It's insanity at its best. We fuss and fight about who's best, who's strongest, who has the most money and who dies with the most toys.
Is it really worth it? Can't we just stumble upon something, someone, somewhere, love them, help them? Be happy in it? Let's do THAT.
Or was that what the video is all about, after all??
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Here We Are Again
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At the end of every year, I look over my calendars, pictures, reliving just what it was that happened in the past year, thinking on what plans I can make for next. Each year is always a gift and a wonder, 2010 was no different.
Traveling good times close to home and far away to the Yucatan. That was just my first cold winter time trip to a warm sunny place. Next month, to Thailand. Almost there....
Holidays, birthdays, and just good old days with friends and family.
Peyton's first baby steps.
Slowly learning to live with increased stress at work.
Fun loving days on the Wine Train, Hot Air Ballooning, visits to the City. Several exciting visits from new couch surfer friends and pals from near and far.
Happily, more healthy days than not. Good to have family moving in, to share my time at home. Warm and smiling camp days in the hills with EHC.
Saddest time: Bobby leaving this world. Never my heart.
Bliss and wonder at the DeYoung and the SF MOMA. Bigger than all of us - fundraiser, family time in Sonoma.
Anthony Bourdain... in person.
This is the best part. After looking at all these good times, I was looking for my budget planning stuff, it's somewhere in this computer, I'm sure of it. I did a desktop search, search phrase: BUDGET PLANNING BOOK. This is just a portion of what I got!! Think someone’s trying to tell me something?? LOL
---Cheap Travel all over the world
you can make your budget as a simple trip .. 12 pm I am planning a trip to South America .. aircraft.and same applies to booking ,book ahead as much as possible. also
---Quit your job and travel! Digest for Group: Properties Charity City Budget City Election City .. Oldetowne Parades Planning &Code Planning .. FY12 Grant Funding Gaithersburg Book Festival Announces Short Story. [CS digest] Cheap Travel all over the world.
---bulk of my budget unless i hitchhike which .. many pennies as i can as well! my budget is tight and i want to get probably .. MOUNTAINS. Get some book first, with CDs. [CS digest] Travelers. i'm on somewhat of a tight budget. i'm looking for another. Hello I am also planning the same. I have never .. find a match first book ur tickets and use...
.
At the end of every year, I look over my calendars, pictures, reliving just what it was that happened in the past year, thinking on what plans I can make for next. Each year is always a gift and a wonder, 2010 was no different.
Traveling good times close to home and far away to the Yucatan. That was just my first cold winter time trip to a warm sunny place. Next month, to Thailand. Almost there....
Holidays, birthdays, and just good old days with friends and family.
Peyton's first baby steps.
Slowly learning to live with increased stress at work.
Fun loving days on the Wine Train, Hot Air Ballooning, visits to the City. Several exciting visits from new couch surfer friends and pals from near and far.
Happily, more healthy days than not. Good to have family moving in, to share my time at home. Warm and smiling camp days in the hills with EHC.
Saddest time: Bobby leaving this world. Never my heart.
Bliss and wonder at the DeYoung and the SF MOMA. Bigger than all of us - fundraiser, family time in Sonoma.
Anthony Bourdain... in person.
This is the best part. After looking at all these good times, I was looking for my budget planning stuff, it's somewhere in this computer, I'm sure of it. I did a desktop search, search phrase: BUDGET PLANNING BOOK. This is just a portion of what I got!! Think someone’s trying to tell me something?? LOL
---Cheap Travel all over the world
you can make your budget as a simple trip .. 12 pm I am planning a trip to South America .. aircraft.and same applies to booking ,book ahead as much as possible. also
---Quit your job and travel! Digest for Group: Properties Charity City Budget City Election City .. Oldetowne Parades Planning &Code Planning .. FY12 Grant Funding Gaithersburg Book Festival Announces Short Story. [CS digest] Cheap Travel all over the world.
---bulk of my budget unless i hitchhike which .. many pennies as i can as well! my budget is tight and i want to get probably .. MOUNTAINS. Get some book first, with CDs. [CS digest] Travelers. i'm on somewhat of a tight budget. i'm looking for another. Hello I am also planning the same. I have never .. find a match first book ur tickets and use...
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Do I have a Family?
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Crawling into bed, pillows and blankets wrapping me to slumber, my mind's eye story-telling the day. Holidays, excitement, joy, loneliness for too many.
He asks me, "Do I have a family? I don't even know anymore if they are alive or dead." No information in his records. Just a bunch of words telling a story of defeat, wandering pain, his own nowhere man-ness. I want to send him a package from his family so he will think he has one. But I don't. My role in his life, his one and only life, is to support him, teach him, reign him in when need be, assure his safety in this place he calls prison, we call hospital.
Tossing and turning, thoughts of our sad wandering minstrel, just smart enough to know how sick he is. Day after day, drawings and songs, stories to the King. He breaks my heart, so young, so forlorn, so much wanting to be well, to make a life for himself.
So I drink to me. I drink to my health. And theirs. Let's salute all these poor souls. One day, long ago, a sweet little babe was born to a village full of smiles and love. Somewhere along the way, doubt showed up, pain flowered and suffering took over.
So we try to soften the blows. A birthday cake. Christmas stockings filled with little treats: top ramen, candy canes, hot chocolate packets. Buy a pizza. Show another movie. Feel my own compassion. Show it. Smile again. Love someone. Anyone.
And go to sleep at the end of the day in my nice warm bed.
Crawling into bed, pillows and blankets wrapping me to slumber, my mind's eye story-telling the day. Holidays, excitement, joy, loneliness for too many.
He asks me, "Do I have a family? I don't even know anymore if they are alive or dead." No information in his records. Just a bunch of words telling a story of defeat, wandering pain, his own nowhere man-ness. I want to send him a package from his family so he will think he has one. But I don't. My role in his life, his one and only life, is to support him, teach him, reign him in when need be, assure his safety in this place he calls prison, we call hospital.
Tossing and turning, thoughts of our sad wandering minstrel, just smart enough to know how sick he is. Day after day, drawings and songs, stories to the King. He breaks my heart, so young, so forlorn, so much wanting to be well, to make a life for himself.
So I drink to me. I drink to my health. And theirs. Let's salute all these poor souls. One day, long ago, a sweet little babe was born to a village full of smiles and love. Somewhere along the way, doubt showed up, pain flowered and suffering took over.
So we try to soften the blows. A birthday cake. Christmas stockings filled with little treats: top ramen, candy canes, hot chocolate packets. Buy a pizza. Show another movie. Feel my own compassion. Show it. Smile again. Love someone. Anyone.
And go to sleep at the end of the day in my nice warm bed.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Bobby
.
.
Eagles "Lyin' Eyes playing on the radio, softening my heart, as I called Lynda, to hear that "Kathy, we lost him. Bobby died Wednesday morning in his sleep. It was very peaceful, it really was. He had the most blissful look on his face."
Well, Bobby lived a life of bliss. Courageous, loving, funny, always curious, living to listen, to learn, keeping his notes on life. That beautiful smile, the twinkle in his eyes will linger forever in my heart. To the last minute, thinking so much of his lovely wife and family as he moved to the next chapter in his own life. I miss that I didn't get to see him tomorrow, wrapping up a basket of 'special' brownies that he was so looking forward to nibbling.
Tahoe in June was to be our last visit. Those few days were such a blessing. Lynda, Bobby, Michael, Mr. P. and me, talking, reading, living in the silence, in the beauty of a wonderful world, oh, and eating at the Chinese restaurant. A short interlude that put the icing on the cake of our lifetime of memories. So many years, so many, many years. I miss him so.
Bobby knew the art of living and dying. Such a good man. Thank you, Bobby. Thank you for being here.
.
Eagles "Lyin' Eyes playing on the radio, softening my heart, as I called Lynda, to hear that "Kathy, we lost him. Bobby died Wednesday morning in his sleep. It was very peaceful, it really was. He had the most blissful look on his face."
Well, Bobby lived a life of bliss. Courageous, loving, funny, always curious, living to listen, to learn, keeping his notes on life. That beautiful smile, the twinkle in his eyes will linger forever in my heart. To the last minute, thinking so much of his lovely wife and family as he moved to the next chapter in his own life. I miss that I didn't get to see him tomorrow, wrapping up a basket of 'special' brownies that he was so looking forward to nibbling.
Tahoe in June was to be our last visit. Those few days were such a blessing. Lynda, Bobby, Michael, Mr. P. and me, talking, reading, living in the silence, in the beauty of a wonderful world, oh, and eating at the Chinese restaurant. A short interlude that put the icing on the cake of our lifetime of memories. So many years, so many, many years. I miss him so.
Bobby knew the art of living and dying. Such a good man. Thank you, Bobby. Thank you for being here.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Rainy Leaves
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.
Walking home, I couldn't get her out of my mind. I'd never even seen her. But I know her. We all know her. Close to retirement, her son killed in a car wreck two years ago. Fifty four years old, raising her grand-daughter because her daughter is unable to do so.
All I see now is her broken body, laying in the rain, bleeding and soiled, the breath taken from her by one mentally ill patient with a long history of violence and assault.
Outside, cold and rainy, first rainfall of the season. Still daylight. The Officer didn't have a hard time finding her. Dead and soiled, bleeding and wet.
More police officers joined in. Administrators. Crying staff, shocked patients.
Begging for more security, more safety on the units. For the vulnerable patients, the really sick ones who are dependent on us for everything from their food to the bed they sleep in. Safety for the workers. Patients and workers who are assaulted on a DAILY basis at this place of healing. The place we come to serve, to work an honest day for an honest day's pay.
We grieve with our glass of wine, our quiet conversation, our shock and dismay. We pick up our quiet resolve and walk in circles. We mourn for Donna. For ourselves. For a system, made up of people, real human beings. A system failed.
Raindrops, a steady chorus from the sky, flatten the leaves that fell from that giant oak. Wet, brown, orange, yellow, scattered across the lawn and over the asphalt. Leaves of rain. Tears of pain.
.
Walking home, I couldn't get her out of my mind. I'd never even seen her. But I know her. We all know her. Close to retirement, her son killed in a car wreck two years ago. Fifty four years old, raising her grand-daughter because her daughter is unable to do so.
All I see now is her broken body, laying in the rain, bleeding and soiled, the breath taken from her by one mentally ill patient with a long history of violence and assault.
Outside, cold and rainy, first rainfall of the season. Still daylight. The Officer didn't have a hard time finding her. Dead and soiled, bleeding and wet.
More police officers joined in. Administrators. Crying staff, shocked patients.
Begging for more security, more safety on the units. For the vulnerable patients, the really sick ones who are dependent on us for everything from their food to the bed they sleep in. Safety for the workers. Patients and workers who are assaulted on a DAILY basis at this place of healing. The place we come to serve, to work an honest day for an honest day's pay.
We grieve with our glass of wine, our quiet conversation, our shock and dismay. We pick up our quiet resolve and walk in circles. We mourn for Donna. For ourselves. For a system, made up of people, real human beings. A system failed.
Raindrops, a steady chorus from the sky, flatten the leaves that fell from that giant oak. Wet, brown, orange, yellow, scattered across the lawn and over the asphalt. Leaves of rain. Tears of pain.
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