tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20235496811344897592023-11-16T06:45:54.239-08:00Writer ThisAn irregular story time by Kathleen ThomasAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-84715612129785163262014-06-03T04:53:00.002-07:002014-06-15T11:47:13.505-07:00Three Kids, a Cat named Smitty, a Caged Bird, a Road Trip & Tiananmen Square<br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier;">It was early June, in the year 1989. Even though I was still married, legally, I was single again, and had been for almost two years now. No time on my hands, no time to waste. After seven years of marriage and three children, my husband decided he ‘needed some space’, and by the way, he was in love with another woman. He’d been seeing her throughout most of my recent pregnancy with Mollie. What I didn't know then. Okay, good-bye. What started out as a happy story came up with a sad ending, an ending that wasn’t that much of a surprise when looked on in hindsight. Two years before, my mother had died. A year later, I had my last baby, a beautiful little girl. Then Matt left. After a bit of awful depression and lots of help from my friends and family, I pulled myself together, working during the day, nursing my baby at night and scrambling with childcare for the kiddies. Matt came by sometimes to ‘babysit’. Good of him. Many years later, we were able to carve out a more civil, if not real friendly relationship, for the good of the kids more than anything else. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier;"> But back then, June 1989, I was ready to go back home to California, where I belonged. I had lived in the East part of the country for 10 years then, and I was done with it, I wanted to go home where I was born and raised. We said our goodbyes to my best friends Cristy and Kelly and to their boys, the best friends of my own little boys. We said our goodbyes to my brother and his family, Mike, Lynn, and kiddos, and hit the road one morning, leaving Long Island where we’d been visiting for a few days of swimming, eating, laughing and telling stories. It was time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier;"> The 1983 Chrysler LeBaron (inherited from Mom) was loaded down with children, children’s books, carseats, children’s toys, cassette tape players, children’s clothing (and diapers), and one yellow, pissed off Smitty the cat. Behind us, I towed the biggest U-Haul I could talk myself into renting, attached to the frame of the car. It held sleeping bags, tents, camp stove, lanterns which we used for camping along the way, as well as kids’ beds, dressers, a big console TV that had been my mom’s, boxes of clothing and blankets, more books and toys and bicycles and not much else. We could find whatever we needed later. It wasn’t our first cross-country road trip, though it would prove to be my last.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier;"> We left New York, traveling from Center Moriches on I-495 West and on to Highway 80, headed to visit friends in Chicago along the way. We left mid morning after breakfast with the family, a side of a few wet and salty tears. We, I, was excited for this new adventure. Apprehension came and went for all of us, with me helping to soothe the fears of my little guys. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier;">I couldn’t tell you exactly where we were, but sometime later that night, we were tired, it was dark, it was late, and after passing a few little towns along the road, I decided it was time to stop and get some sleep, all along looking for that perfect little motel in which I wouldn’t have to back my trailer into a parking spot. I wasn’t up to that at all. Not that night, not that late, not with my sugar level dropping. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier;">We found a place, a one-story, long old decent looking motel, with sidewalk, shrubs and trees planted along the front corridor. We crawled out of the car, registered and paid for the room and walked excitedly to our room, our first motel room! which was dark and dank and just what we needed. I remember starting the bath for the kids and saying to them, “Come on guys, it’s almost ten o’clock, let’s get you into the bath and to bed.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier;">“We’re hungry, Mom, can we have something to eat?” out of Howie’s little mouth, the oldest, all of 9 years old then.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier;">“Yes, I’ll fix you some cereal while you guys get a bath, and take Smitty out of her crate, please,” It wasn’t a trip for the feint of heart. Cereal it was. Cold.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier;">The cat immediately flew under one of the beds, and wouldn’t be seen again until after the kids were all asleep. I put down the cat’s food and water in the bathroom, along with his catbox. Turned back across the room, pulled out the plastic bowls, utensils and cold cereal, alongside the cooler packed with ice and milk and fruit and juice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier;">The boys got themselves undressed and into the tub, Mollie I helped, and pretty soon they were all laughing and splashing and fussing while I pulled out their pj’s and got their food ready. It had been a really long day and it wasn't over yet. I reached over, flipped on the big brown square TV sitting on the dresser and was immediately in a state of shock. I’d had tapes playing in the car all day long, hadn’t heard any news broadcasts at all, other than a few weather reports that I tuned on a couple of poor-signal stations. It had rained, and rained hard, most of the trip, I kept hoping for some respite from the storm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier; line-height: 32px;"> In front of the TV, two feet away, I sat down on the foot of the bed, breathing deeply, watching Chinese soldiers gunning down students and other protestors in Tiananmen Square. Everyone was yelling, and running and falling and crying. Sorrow, helplessness and rage quickly turned my own stomach to stone. I knew the whole world was watching, and that’s all we were doing. I'd been watching reports</span><span style="font-family: Courier; line-height: 32px;"> from Beijing City for a while now, streams of demonstrators ready and willing to stand up for their freedom and democracy, and now they were being shot down. I sat in silence, glued to the TV, to the voices of the reporters, the gunshots, ‘til the kids wanted out - they were getting cold.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier;">I decided to leave the TV on, explained to the kids that a terrible event was happening on the other side of the world, assuring them that yes, they were okay, fine, nothing like that is happening here, it’s just a terrible and sad fight for freedom of the Chinese people. I’d been a political activist my whole life, politics and activism was nothing new to these kids, they listened and watched and then I turned off the TV screen for the night. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier;">I spent our next bit of time sitting the kids down to eat on makeshift tray tables on the beds, getting their teeth brushed before tucking them in, kissing them goodnight, holding them closely. As I fell off to sleep, fitfully, the horror on the other side of the world only reinforced to me that I didn’t have any problem that couldn’t be solved. We were safe, warm, fed, loved and that was all we needed that night in whatever town we were resting in Pennsylvania.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-86346541511688656052014-02-28T08:51:00.001-08:002014-02-28T11:07:59.911-08:00A Year Later.....<br />
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This year as in every year, my birthday rolls around on March 1. Same date, different day, bigger number. We all get there, each and every time, unless we die first.<br />
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I'm noticing a difference this year, though, since my birthday is now tied into the day I retired from work. A year ago today, I walked out the door of my workplace for the last time. It's not a place you go back to visit your friends, as my previous jobs were. A locked facility is just that. No keys, no<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHTqRAFzfuvfMwO_XuYGUoyPx8IFTGvSJhhdvpPLIYl5gdNvSydjx4SNovbH2OS_eXlRbuFqbr7ToG5LWP6yjsFThNkh1EvAOQ93tz9S-4KX-x3XUdsPVsFAkRwpgu2qZK5PmL8uoEkxU/s1600/IMG_8741.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHTqRAFzfuvfMwO_XuYGUoyPx8IFTGvSJhhdvpPLIYl5gdNvSydjx4SNovbH2OS_eXlRbuFqbr7ToG5LWP6yjsFThNkh1EvAOQ93tz9S-4KX-x3XUdsPVsFAkRwpgu2qZK5PmL8uoEkxU/s1600/IMG_8741.JPG" height="200" width="149" /></a>dropping by. Those keys could cost you $300, so you can bet I turned them back in. And on that day, February 28, 2013, I <i>never </i>wanted to go back.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLgCle8RkYm4SnW18jpk8s8UrtbTlCxug_8oXneSRBsU1v2X5Jt6wSSbjGudqkgtoQrYyAO_v_BjbiLeLvs2XPnp9QaI6HSaDSJEAwX1vYQ00inU6luO8iMxeeosWxaOUKY-YgP4bOJ8c/s1600/100_8986.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLgCle8RkYm4SnW18jpk8s8UrtbTlCxug_8oXneSRBsU1v2X5Jt6wSSbjGudqkgtoQrYyAO_v_BjbiLeLvs2XPnp9QaI6HSaDSJEAwX1vYQ00inU6luO8iMxeeosWxaOUKY-YgP4bOJ8c/s1600/100_8986.JPG" height="133" width="200" /></a>Just as I planned it, a few days after retirement I left the shores of the USA for an extended trip around the world, visiting friends and family in just about every place I went. After a little introspective the previous several months, I realized that I needed to do something big when I stopped working, to celebrate, to ease into retirement. I had no return ticket, so I planned my time based on who I would be going to see next, and when.<br />
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I discovered new friends along the way, in flashy cities and quiet villages, on hot, sultry beaches and in the arid dessert of Morocco. I sat in Paris cafés, wandered through champagne caves in Champagne.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheW5mS7W0WK8KaJjyjEx3q5toncGjlAAFo5kjBfz3rRjsdQ7HJvLqZ0jnlwxGMYJVJ3GOkRHlSSIaXsR7g8LG9T5W_4BrUdtR7NkbZSVW0Cmd1MxUT-a7ZmPzVxZZv17i4U0cSljT3YFA/s1600/100_1792.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheW5mS7W0WK8KaJjyjEx3q5toncGjlAAFo5kjBfz3rRjsdQ7HJvLqZ0jnlwxGMYJVJ3GOkRHlSSIaXsR7g8LG9T5W_4BrUdtR7NkbZSVW0Cmd1MxUT-a7ZmPzVxZZv17i4U0cSljT3YFA/s1600/100_1792.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a></div>
I hiked the hills of Aragon, where you can still hear the sounds of the Spanish Civil War. I gazed on the murals walls and gates of Belfast, sat high above Bangkok and looked out over<br />
the world.<br />
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So many places, so many sights and sounds and smells.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMpxzUjpHPQfWcAKclGviWPnqoJu1Z_P4mkMp4kRRCG60AWLf4JA6CwLWZoNHlyHHz4cp-UT-9bFVXZJZn2An9qMedlce2qmIZyNLdnhDwcSRRiKn1PM8MoCPCEL7IEzL2diPZ72JsDGQ/s1600/IMG_0077.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMpxzUjpHPQfWcAKclGviWPnqoJu1Z_P4mkMp4kRRCG60AWLf4JA6CwLWZoNHlyHHz4cp-UT-9bFVXZJZn2An9qMedlce2qmIZyNLdnhDwcSRRiKn1PM8MoCPCEL7IEzL2diPZ72JsDGQ/s1600/IMG_0077.jpeg" /></a>I journeyed to the land of my family, sat in the same room with Irish folk who could rattle off stories of our old ones. I stood on the ground of Caherboshina, Ireland, where my mother's great great grandfather farmed, before coming to America with his wee family. I never felt more appreciative for the love of people and the land than I do now, that I learned then.<br />
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While I didn't think about it at the time, I've come to realize that people who said to me that it 'was the trip of a lifetime', they were right. The timing of that particular holiday, just on the heels of retirement, a few days past my birthday, couldn't have been better.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_orFw7-NiFO6b583OCCH3bSenX57jeGxaDC6tKtYhEPrgHIbbx-K_q_dqNDU-_3yfYnA_g9_m1DKIOBTEtZUxIYWAhe5nOia6CA295J_jV4JZozZj2ZStsFNJAjaXYEeimRpBdb7gl5w/s1600/100_0591.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_orFw7-NiFO6b583OCCH3bSenX57jeGxaDC6tKtYhEPrgHIbbx-K_q_dqNDU-_3yfYnA_g9_m1DKIOBTEtZUxIYWAhe5nOia6CA295J_jV4JZozZj2ZStsFNJAjaXYEeimRpBdb7gl5w/s1600/100_0591.JPG" height="150" width="200" /></a></div>
Each time I go back through the photos, and I do so often, each time I turn another page of my travel journal, I feel another memory, taste another bite of love, and yearn for another big adventure. Certain that there will be another, indeed, usually planning another.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE9DeX_OEnXQeF4txBPIYUc3ftfBj4iwYP75kH21z5eWcdVxu9XSZsNMKfroa1T0ZfcskjYaW-fc2grqFBeXvfW8KPKJYtyLkAykh-V2f5gcY8PdAnrcCF5NAMmwbVnNO3c_7bzZwxEZM/s1600/100_6823.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE9DeX_OEnXQeF4txBPIYUc3ftfBj4iwYP75kH21z5eWcdVxu9XSZsNMKfroa1T0ZfcskjYaW-fc2grqFBeXvfW8KPKJYtyLkAykh-V2f5gcY8PdAnrcCF5NAMmwbVnNO3c_7bzZwxEZM/s1600/100_6823.JPG" height="133" width="200" /></a>My life is now measured differently than it was prior to retirement. It's not measured by the sound of the alarm in the morning, or my 'days off'. Because every day is a day off. If I don't look at the calendar, I can forget what day, or date, has arrived. My time is now measured by what each day brings to me, and what I give to it. I'm no longer consumed with fear and loathing in a <i>feeling it now</i> as I go back there. Terror rolls my stomach when my mind strays near to the source.<br />
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workplace that doesn't seem to value its employees, or indeed, the patients being cared for by my colleagues that I miss seeing each day. Seldom do I feel that post traumatic stress, though I'm<br />
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So I choose to not go there. Instead, I think over the past year as a series of lifetime events. Baby showers, new babies, Dad died, class reunion, birthday parties, new love, cherished friends who continue always to be part of my life. Day trips to the mountains, to the beach, bike rides, hours <br />
spent<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgo90n7rVn5Bbjiq01xrbgG9gmNdu8Zlt0Ysbi4XCmff0Fu1PvMbi5OwQ2WcQ8kCUiGHdD-AfO15n0bwyOlE2yoANcxgDjCGQib8gtWlaKfcVRUu-EPPayhrZiL_ovHTQ7aHn6iTb_KE4/s1600/IMG_1811.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgo90n7rVn5Bbjiq01xrbgG9gmNdu8Zlt0Ysbi4XCmff0Fu1PvMbi5OwQ2WcQ8kCUiGHdD-AfO15n0bwyOlE2yoANcxgDjCGQib8gtWlaKfcVRUu-EPPayhrZiL_ovHTQ7aHn6iTb_KE4/s1600/IMG_1811.JPG" height="200" width="149" /></a>painting, or writing, or reading. Time for me to do as I wish. I've been told, of this time of my life, 'you've earned it'. I never really thought about it in that way, and after a year, if I haven't really earned it, I'm sure as heck enjoying it.<br />
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Close ties to my family is one of those things I've not taken for granted, I love them and I'm so grateful to have them all. Marrying and having babies while I was very young assured me I would always have family around. As my kids have always told me being 'the best Mom in the world' helped make it so. I basically moved from my<br />
childhood family to one of my own. I couldn't be happier with all of my extended and natural families, my loved ones, friends as well as family. I'm sitting here, cuppa tea in hand, dawn awakening outside a stormy window, the embroidered cloth on my table whispering Travel East, Travel West, After All, Home is Best.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZZCPXF0pr5yHsSRGb-HezUgklTOjKbNwCVxhmKE314EPL6JuBcpUWTCAmcPfrZruqcH_C-M4KJ25GCoal_n1WY9J3TA2RhRQIwy9qRi7v1x0XX54wvxxs1X2wFO1w64SfJX0Nush2JF8/s1600/IMG_3757.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZZCPXF0pr5yHsSRGb-HezUgklTOjKbNwCVxhmKE314EPL6JuBcpUWTCAmcPfrZruqcH_C-M4KJ25GCoal_n1WY9J3TA2RhRQIwy9qRi7v1x0XX54wvxxs1X2wFO1w64SfJX0Nush2JF8/s1600/IMG_3757.JPG" height="149" width="200" /></a>It <i>might</i> be best. Though I have to say, I can't wait to get on that plane again and be carried off to a new land of opportunity. The opportunity to see trees I've not seen before, flowers in bloom, birds I've never seen and people I haven't yet met. The dry erase board across the room lists my every day 'things to do': paint the pavers, plant an orange tree, re-paint the gnome, write, paint, edit those photos, smile.<br />
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And today, as two of my best friends are on the road to join me for my birthday, that smile is just where it should be.<br />
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If you've retired, I'd love to know how your first year was, what you noticed. What you expected it to be, how it all worked out.</div>
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If you're retiring soon, what are you looking forward to??</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-11507163986178212492013-12-03T13:41:00.000-08:002013-12-03T13:58:57.942-08:00Eight Letter Words<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 32px;">
He’s a tall man, about 6’2”, black, looks younger than his 46 years. One of the doctors here told me that ‘many people with schizophrenia oftentimes will look younger in their face'. It’s their stoic look. They don’t show a lot of emotion, they won’t use a lot of muscles to frown, or to smile. This guy, he’s been in and out of locked facilities most of his life. <o:p></o:p></div>
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As a young boy, he witnessed his father commit suicide. When he was in his teens, he watched his brother kill himself. We don’t know where his mother is, or was. He won’t talk about it and the records are sketchy.<o:p></o:p></div>
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He doesn’t come out of his room much. Paranoia, say the experts. Fear, says I. He’s been assaulted more than once by patients in the hospital. Before coming to the hospital, he had many, many fights out in the world. It’s difficult for him not to retaliate. “I like it in here, I’m staying in my room. Will you tell me when it’s dinner?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP0p1eI05DJsswKN33f1gVlb57Pq4vBRwYD9YzQwUc4OnRichJPtguwERS4DEOEO_M1nIdPvPtJyfuyVhk2pv3SuPFQ3gzKWCqIjF_2YDx2LhgB05ngocdOQ88KdGYD_K21BayP_pAtCo/s1600/100_9945.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiP0p1eI05DJsswKN33f1gVlb57Pq4vBRwYD9YzQwUc4OnRichJPtguwERS4DEOEO_M1nIdPvPtJyfuyVhk2pv3SuPFQ3gzKWCqIjF_2YDx2LhgB05ngocdOQ88KdGYD_K21BayP_pAtCo/s320/100_9945.JPG" width="320" /></a>We all share two long hallways, med room, treatment room, two day halls with windows floor to ceiling. Steel screens outside of them and a small balcony overlooking the shrubs, lawn, picnic tables, basketball hoops and trees. Windows that don’t open. Years ago, when we were fully staffed and often took the guys outside, one of them scaled the outside fence faster than anyone had ever seen him move. He jumped to his death while patients and staff watched in horror, scrambling to stop him. </div>
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Courtyard isn’t used much these days. Not enough staff to secure the unit and take people outside at the same time. We have a dining room and 12 sleeping rooms. 34 patients, 6-8 staff work each of three shifts. Administrators survey the unit, walking through quickly, keys in hand. Saving grace for staff is going home each day after one, or possibly two shifts. Overtime is often mandated, as there are such low staffing thresholds. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Of our 34 patients, some will leave. Some never. Maybe when they age out, no longer a threat to society, they're transferred to a lower level of care facility, lower level of security. Where doors are sometimes left unlocked. Patients are often transferred, only to return after another incident weeks or months or years later. We get to know the guys. They think they know us.<o:p></o:p></div>
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This is one of many state mental hospitals around the country. I thought the one I worked in was unusual for the number of assaults on patients and staff. I blogged about it a while back and was amazed at the responses from other nurses across the country. “It’s just like that here, too.”</div>
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Three years ago, one of our hospital staff was killed by a patient. She was strangled to death in the corner behind a building. We think it was because she didn’t have a cigarette on her to give to the guy. We really don’t know. After this incident, there were speeches, letter-writing campaigns, meetings with unions and management. Rallies were held in the state capitol and in front of the hospital. Newspaper reporters requesting to talk with anyone who had information and/or would stand up to be heard. Many of us spoke out and felt the brunt of it from our supervisors. There was a lot of crying and hand-holding.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrPRyXLRRb3MOicD-km9THq0hHhK-S2Y7L-zP8G5L-PXn67tMjkITpzYzGVOpb9ImhVMUQkS62ES4T-TbK_5dpvB3br_PmxIvNeTKMJFSByj5W1RTPbPNDhMrf3vbqFK18ad4vKJS5TWY/s1600/Scan+13.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrPRyXLRRb3MOicD-km9THq0hHhK-S2Y7L-zP8G5L-PXn67tMjkITpzYzGVOpb9ImhVMUQkS62ES4T-TbK_5dpvB3br_PmxIvNeTKMJFSByj5W1RTPbPNDhMrf3vbqFK18ad4vKJS5TWY/s1600/Scan+13.jpeg" /></a>Our colleague was buried, we heard her family settled in a lawsuit with the State, though never confirmed by anyone I know. Millions of dollars were spent on new state of the art alarms for the staff. Staff alarms to be used at the time of attack, or in some other emergency, to call for help. No prevention here at all. Very little doctor-patient interaction. Physicians, social workers, psychologists come and go. Hospital administration preaches ‘continuity of care’. We don’t see it.</div>
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Last week, two staff on my unit were assaulted. The patient I mentioned was nowhere near the incident. He was safe in his room. One of the staff members was treating the attacker for a medical condition he has. She’s a Registered Nurse, a short little Filipina who has worked here for many years. She had other staff in the room with her. That didn’t stop the attack. The other staff member, also a little woman, an RN, has worked for years on the unit. She was unlocking an office door when she was punched along the side of her head, falling to the floor. Both of them are off work on workers comp. The patient continues to walk the halls. Medicated and watched.</div>
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Security is just an eight letter word here. Officers appear on the units once or twice in an 8 hour period. They respond after an assault. Staff carry alarms and keys and watch each others’ backs, always on vigilant alert, reading the patients and any change in their behavior. Families worry for our safety. Every staff person on my unit has been assaulted at least once, including myself. Former colleagues will never work again from the injuries they suffered. Physical and psychological damage. PTSD is rampant.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When I talk to outsiders about this work environment, they can’t understand how it can continue to happen. Why doesn’t someone do something about it? Mental health advocates and administration claim the patients are patients, not inmates, and won’t allow ‘guards’ to patrol the units. Staff is trained to restrain patients when necessary, not trained in self defense. Staff here are professionally trained to provide excellent patient care. And they do.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF0NzOYOp4kzDAkRmlPj0ZOGRZVUplqqYE0B-j1Ix1_WAkB9FeOZp0Os_xwiLEhEfl4O-aL3tY6v1pOOEA3BRIhRp-kmGzcgfTXwi63wfQgbdNjR7xT2gv275VsHVaU9HjQoQOPnclbBg/s1600/IMG_8495.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF0NzOYOp4kzDAkRmlPj0ZOGRZVUplqqYE0B-j1Ix1_WAkB9FeOZp0Os_xwiLEhEfl4O-aL3tY6v1pOOEA3BRIhRp-kmGzcgfTXwi63wfQgbdNjR7xT2gv275VsHVaU9HjQoQOPnclbBg/s320/IMG_8495.JPG" width="239" /></a>There is no security here. Until we walk out the door to come home. Later, we cry in our pillows. We worry in anticipation of the next incident. We’re care-givers, that’s why we took this job. To be of service to patients who require care, who need support, encouragement, understanding and love. We pull together at holidays to give the guys special treats and entertainment that they otherwise wouldn’t get. Most of the men here have been abandoned by their families, don’t really have any friends outside.</div>
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The patient I first mentioned, he’s still in his room. He comes out to toilet, to shower, for meds, and anytime he can eat. Three days a week, he goes to the hospital’s version of a classroom/school where he watches TV, plays video games, listens to music and gets his hands on more food. You can always find a little bag of chips in his pocket. </div>
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If you want to push it and ask him. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-16663519642055357532013-11-06T10:43:00.000-08:002013-11-06T10:43:56.077-08:00It's Been a Long Day(original 2011)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
It seems like a year ago, in reality, just 14 days ago. We were in Brookings, the morning started off with a bang. Literally. When I got up from sleeping and knocked over the ancient metal TV tray onto the floor. Oh my gosh. It made such a loud noise, startled my son Tom sleeping on the other side of the room, yelling out as if he was protecting the place, "H E Y !!!!!". Oh my gosh, I can't stop laughing every time I think about it.<br />
<br />
A few minutes to write is what I need. Please, just a few minutes for me all to myself.<br />
<br />
Dad slept in the guest room that last night in his home with his big and black cat 'Hey, Kitty' keeping him company. Sleeping in the guest room because his own bedroom furniture is loaded on the truck. <br />
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Tom took off later that morning in the U-Haul truck with more stuff than would fit into Dad's new place. I know, because some of it is still waiting in my garage for me to sort through. Everything left behind at Dad's home will be thrown away or cleaned up with the help of his realtor, sold at an 'estate' sale, and the check sent to Dad. That was a good reply for him asking about this or that, "Let Chris sell it and she'll send you a check for it". <br />
<br />
I wondered then how long Dad would be able to hang onto this 'independent' living status of his. His vision loss has deeply affected his lifestyle. He can't read a menu, he tells me food on his plate is a blur, and knows the fork from the spoon only by touch. Even as I sit across the table at dinner, I'm just a blur. He is able to see long distance a bit better, able to recognize buildings and other landmarks, stop signs when he's riding on his scooter. He can sign his name by memory, when I put the pen on the paper; he can't see where to write at all. He can't see that with all the weight he's lost, his clothes are hanging on him. He couldn't even see the ants in his drink last night. When I pointed them out to him and offered to get him a new drink, he yelled at me, "I'M not throwing away a perfectly good drink! I can't see them anyway", noting as he finished it off. Jeez, what can I say?<br />
<br />
It's certainly been a difficult move for dad. After spending quite a bit of time with him, I dont doubt it's a good move. Oh, he still regales anyone who will listen with his stories of building the Brookings port, and starting the Elks Travel Club, and his four years in a POW camp after being captured at Wake Island. He can tell those stories four times in a ten minute span, and each time, it's the first time for him. For many of his listeners, it gets old fast.<br />
<br />
I guess we're all doing our best. He is. I am. The kids and grand-kids are. I guess best has to be good enough. Because he is NOT making it in independent living. Too many of us know now that he can't do that any longer. He gets lost when he leaves his place. So now he won't leave much. He put his wallet in a safe place, and then lost it for two days until he found it in his freezer when he opened it up to get ice for his nightly Manhattan. The neighbors are worried about him, and so am I.<br />
<br />
So, next week he moves again to assisted living/memory care. He doesn't know yet. That's the conversation we get to have on Monday. I lay awake at night wondering if I'm really doing the right thing. He needs someone to take care of him, right? And yet, he could just as easily die in his bed in Brookings as here in Napa.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-39827376695843616262013-11-06T10:33:00.004-08:002013-11-06T10:36:07.433-08:00Well, I've Changed My Mind...* (original, 9/7/2011)<br />
*<br />
*<br />
The screeching stop I was waiting for has slammed me in the face.<br />
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Now the delusional side of Daddy has decided to 'stay where I am'. He continued to go on and on about the friends he has (doesn't have any longer, really, at all), about all the things he's done in that town (which he's unable to do now), and he's made up his mind.<br />
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And my younger brother who talked with him a half hour on the phone tells me to do what Dad wants.<br />
<br />
The three days I was with him, when I saw him, from both a daughter's standpoint, and that of a Registered Nurse, specializing in community, senior health and psychiatry, doesn't amount to a hill of beans.<br />
<br />
So I am to ignore the wishes of a delusional old man, and go on knowing he doesn't know what he's doing and that's okay.<br />
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I work every day with adult males who cannot take care of themselves. Don't you think I recognize that when I see it? Am I supposed to stand by, morally and legally and say, okay, do what you will.<br />
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I guess I am.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-56636667557743281172013-10-30T17:50:00.002-07:002013-10-30T19:37:32.793-07:00The Greatest Feeling in the World<div class="MsoNormal">
The greatest feeling in the world?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, let me tell you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sat down this morning after procrastinating
most of a month on another essay. I had a deadline for submission to ____.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After thinking
long and hard on it, I finally put my thoughts down on paper. I finished writing, went to look up the submission address, re-check the format requirements, etc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Imagine my total surprise when I noticed that
I had written on the wrong topic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ha ha ha.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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The greatest feeling in the world, right then,
was having had written that piece at all. And then, learning it was the wrong
one! And laughing about it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So here you are, without further ado, the top ten of Kathy’s Greatest
Feelings in the world:<o:p></o:p></div>
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#10 <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Falling in love
for the first time.<o:p></o:p></div>
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#9<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Birthing my
first son.<o:p></o:p></div>
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#8<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Being with my
favorite Uncle when he died.<o:p></o:p></div>
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#7<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Finding
ancestors and relatives here in the USA, and in a far-away country.<o:p></o:p></div>
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#6<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Delivering
three more beautiful sons.<o:p></o:p></div>
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#5<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Birthing my gorgeous
first daughter.<o:p></o:p></div>
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#4<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Loving and
being loved by fabulous family & friends.<o:p></o:p></div>
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#3<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Traveling the
world, friending fabulous people far and wide.<o:p></o:p></div>
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#2<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Falling madly, totally, Head Over Heels
in Love AGain, At My Age, when it was completely unexpected.<o:p></o:p></div>
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the #1 - Greatest
Feeling in the World: <span style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Doing it My Way.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-85415878733974068552013-10-30T15:44:00.000-07:002013-11-04T17:06:23.829-08:00Quit Beating Yourself Up<div class="MsoNormal">
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“Listen Kathy, I came to terms with
this years ago. Daddy left us. He left us to start a new family, he didn’t
want this family, so he left. Quit beating
yourself up over him.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj5o26PWvvpaVVdyPo-lyLqLnYHORsm_cpzaSG44F-SoOGmUIhBZ-zbOGPoX7s3fMbeiGpgXO4Nu7evY0hOXOhvWGGkeDqpS2Lbh60Alz7MAxMkJ2aFpfNt3NYJ0_0WrGcMT_QHbDomHw/s1600/100_5728.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhj5o26PWvvpaVVdyPo-lyLqLnYHORsm_cpzaSG44F-SoOGmUIhBZ-zbOGPoX7s3fMbeiGpgXO4Nu7evY0hOXOhvWGGkeDqpS2Lbh60Alz7MAxMkJ2aFpfNt3NYJ0_0WrGcMT_QHbDomHw/s320/100_5728.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
Daddy died October 1, in his sleep,
alone in his bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We received a phone
call, well a voice mail to call.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were
pretty sure what that meant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’d been
estranged, pretty much no communication for past two years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dad and our family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The ‘step-family’ swooped in a while
ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were in, we were out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing new.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
For a while now, I’ve been spending
time going over the past with my dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
good, the bad and the ugly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
October 1959.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was 11, just starting puberty, my brothers
were 10 and 8.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our little family moved
to South Lake Tahoe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dad was a blue collar
worker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mom’s collar was secretarial
white.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dad was a builder, he could do
anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He figured he could make his
dream stash in a small country berg that was destined for great things. To look
at it now, the Lake is about the only thing up there that looks like it did 50
years ago.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<span style="line-height: 200%;">We were quite the dysfunctional
family as I remember.</span><span style="line-height: 200%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 200%;">Fights, money
troubles, women troubles.</span><span style="line-height: 200%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 200%;">Two years
after moving to Tahoe, Daddy took off with another woman to live in Oregon.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
Junior high graduation came and
went.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He showed up for an hour.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For the remainder of our young lives, my
brothers and I received just about nothing from dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No cards, no love, no birthday cash, no
memories there at all. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
Basically that relationship never
changed over the course of our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dad
became and Grandpa Russ and Grandpa Russ was no different than Daddy Russ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes we saw him, heard from him, other
times we didn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were good times,
short family trips, mini vacations, stories shared, new children, grand-children,
great grand-children brought into the world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It all seemed so normal.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Two years ago, I told my dad that
my sister-in-law was planning a big surprise 60th birthday party for my
brother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dad wanted to go!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was excited!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was excited! And though he’d had some
recent impairments, lapses in cognition, judgment, memory,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told myself, we can do this. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m an RN, a professionally trained, educated,
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>psych nurse, he’s my dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
Well, after three Emergency Room
visits in three different cities, trains, planes, and ambulances in three
different states, we made it home after never getting to the <span style="line-height: 200%;">birthday party.</span><span style="line-height: 200%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 200%;">Out of his home environment, Dad completely
lost it in a series of confused, psychotic and violent episodes. We dragged
home bewildered and lost.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
As a young man, Daddy survived
three years of prison camp in WWII after being captured on Wake Island.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He later helped build the port in his tiny
fishing village.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He traveled and loved
and was loved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My travel bug I’ve gotten
from him.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<br /></div>
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As I said, since his death, I’ve
gone over all my dad’s mistakes enough times to see all the things I’ve done
wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was just doing his best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was doing my best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His dad left his mom when he and his two
brothers were little boys, off to sail the world as a merchant marine.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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When I learned he was dead, I
didn’t want a service.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d said my
goodbye long ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Overnight a change of
heart set in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We did need it, my kids,
my self, we needed to say our goodbyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So we had a small, home garden family service. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My brothers didn’t attend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They had their own goodbyes to do, in their
own style.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, on a bright and beautiful
fall sunny Sunday, it was time to say a few things about Grandpa Russ. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“Remember the fresh salmon he
brought to us when we were up camping in the Oregon woods?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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. . . “Or the time he chewed out the
restaurant chef for not buying local fresh crab?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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. . . “I only remember how grumpy he
was.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="line-height: 200%;">. . . </span><span style="line-height: 200%;">“I remember when he ‘disappeared’ with Grandma
Mollie for a couple days when they were both visiting their first
grandson.</span><span style="line-height: 200%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 200%;">Long after they had divorced.”</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="line-height: 200%;">. . . “How about the time he took us out
in the Pacific in his fishing boat?</span><span style="line-height: 200%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 200%;">And
Pauline got sick, throwing up over the side?</span><span style="line-height: 200%;">
</span><span style="line-height: 200%;">Hah hah hah”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 200%;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
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Come together in a circle, hands
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…“Okay, let’s see how the Niners
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<span style="line-height: 200%;">I didn’t say much at the
service/wake.</span><span style="line-height: 200%;"> I listened. </span><span style="line-height: 200%;">Why speak ill of the dead. Or the living?</span><span style="line-height: 200%;"> </span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 200%;">A final word about my dad’s dying? </span><span style="line-height: 200%;"> </span><span style="line-height: 200%;">I wish I felt worse than I do.</span><span style="line-height: 200%;"> </span><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-28364239129909118202013-04-30T13:38:00.000-07:002013-11-06T10:50:27.006-08:00From Over There to Over Here<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">It's a whirl-wind, I tell ya. 18,325 miles hither and yon. For the
next few days, I’m resting my self in the English midlands of Coventry, UK. I left home the 4th night of
March. With the exception of just a
handful of nights, I've had the pleasure of the company of cs and other friends
all along the way. The friends who look after me, the friends who share a bit of their life and themselves each and every day. Postcards I send from here and there only touch briefly on the world I see. Even this little note is just a snapshot. The little ins and outs will come later.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK16h4N6jIKrtXYZLciWF6sDxN-iIKBckzvtAQ5F-csCLpoN1FMUc9lK7sERlRIw7nO7qa5_JDChvCYYYfOeJkfeJklpxoi66iM-jRnlfCSqQAKPaca9r-yCMyTYl1W2ihAA1O3Ha2asQ/s1600/100_4176.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; font-size: 17px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><br /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">One of those exceptions to not staying with friends and/or couchsurfers was a night on which after
20 hours of pick-up, bus, taxi and train travel, I was in heaven in a Fes Rhiad. Asleep.
Next day, having the pleasure of a Hamman scrub, herbal massage and a
pedicure and mint Moroccan tea. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPLHCOKD_jZPaZYEz78UJcYfKQ-ger4uIA_bGrZKux9Uw9SRKI6VTfd_xP_VckF2ypCc_9r-vfh9Er7L-tH2i1b8clAVCD7l4ipqPCpFk8nUp-UGsAvj323RyqatFEHFHvX4uIyd0s-2g/s1600/100_0438.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; font-size: 17px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPLHCOKD_jZPaZYEz78UJcYfKQ-ger4uIA_bGrZKux9Uw9SRKI6VTfd_xP_VckF2ypCc_9r-vfh9Er7L-tH2i1b8clAVCD7l4ipqPCpFk8nUp-UGsAvj323RyqatFEHFHvX4uIyd0s-2g/s200/100_0438.jpg" width="200" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">Climbing to the top of Morello in the </span><span style="color: #343434; font-size: 13pt;">Castellón region of Spain and gazing</span><span style="font-size: 13pt;"> out over the hills in wonder. I could practically hear Gandolf or Eddard Stark around the corner. Was briefly locked into a bunker that soldiers of the Abraham Lincoln Brigades hunkered down in so many years ago near Segorbe. Overwhelmed with the beauty of La Familia Sagrada, Barcelona and the mind of Gaudi.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">Pizza for dinner my first night in France with my friend and former colleague from San Francisco. Peeking through the windows in the house Napolean built for his wife in Marseille. That house she never lived in. Feeling the sadness & poignancy of so many lives lost at sea while viewing the </span><b><span style="color: #343434; font-size: 13pt;">Marseille</span></b><span style="color: #343434; font-size: 13pt;">, <b>Notre</b>-<b>Dame de la Garde </b></span><span style="font-size: 13pt;">overlooking the Marseille sports boat harbor. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl4vqtkACcvdPSiX6lc0bO3OuqltMhXKYN7AVVq1IL_mtCO8gHhWreFeKHHnwxzI6FptT6NNohh9vmKinK3EZ5d7ALf9QRZTk-ZEVKbJb4H_6yYa9VhJC0d-baXcDINAwMSaFlkSWwT7c/s1600/100_2543.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; font-size: 17px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhl4vqtkACcvdPSiX6lc0bO3OuqltMhXKYN7AVVq1IL_mtCO8gHhWreFeKHHnwxzI6FptT6NNohh9vmKinK3EZ5d7ALf9QRZTk-ZEVKbJb4H_6yYa9VhJC0d-baXcDINAwMSaFlkSWwT7c/s200/100_2543.jpg" width="200" /></a>T<span style="font-size: 13pt;">ouched by the emotion resting in the</span><span style="color: #343434; font-size: 13pt;"> Musee de la Reddition in <b>Reims</b>, France, where General Eisenhower accepted the unconditional <b>surrender</b> of Germany in 1945. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #343434; font-size: 13pt;">Then many miles later, standing in Churchill’s Underground War Rooms where the war plans took effect. Walking through the Globe Theater, feasting on the songs of the season, mingling with Sherlock Holmes and Florence Nightengale in their Museums. Spending a few hours wandering around the Tower of London and a few minutes walking across Abbey Road while, yes, listening to Rubber Soul in my earbuds.</span><span style="font-size: 13pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">In wonderment for evensong in Westminster Abbey. Spending an entire day in the Louvre and could have done more. Realizing I want to better my own painting and go home to study that. Knowing that now that I’m retired, I can do that. My time is my own. Resting my soul in Monet’s Waterlilies in Musée de <b>l'Orangerie </b>and pattering around with Renior in the D'Orsay.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Walking through Sukhothai ruins outside of Bangkok. Traveling to new places with good friends.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Picking up a couple new young friends with which to drink beer at 10 am on a boat to another Thai island. Being mesmerized by a giant yellow and black beetle fly around the boat for quite a while. We named it Paul. Drinking beer at a winery outside of Hua Hin, Thailand. Happily lazing in the sun on a beach for most of a week at Ko Samui.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Playing with street art in Maasthrict, in the Netherlands, chalking off another country on my list. Eating my way around the world with no guilt at all. I know where the gym is when I get home. Where my bike is. And where the pools are.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjByI-jDrfZKaVFzUTIBdf78if5axNcFVt1wLqkmkh_zd0yBS0DY3bIgISsNl2c4FDiHC0-XpV6lE0xE48Qx0gP5pFsPpLMnpmkcS7v4y9SumGoQUMGjQVg3rtqM-0j7qVU4KmLvtQIOCo/s1600/IMG_0814.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjByI-jDrfZKaVFzUTIBdf78if5axNcFVt1wLqkmkh_zd0yBS0DY3bIgISsNl2c4FDiHC0-XpV6lE0xE48Qx0gP5pFsPpLMnpmkcS7v4y9SumGoQUMGjQVg3rtqM-0j7qVU4KmLvtQIOCo/s320/IMG_0814.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">Hit my fourth life-time continent in the cities and desert of Morocco. New friends in Marrakesh and out in the desert over the High Atlas mountains. </span><span style="font-size: 13pt;">Walking through fields of wheat and date trees, clover and fava beans they grow in their own plot of land.</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv0lHaSKtsf8ACx-KOhjq3R3bYiBZ28YgGdyGKIwDckXP_asukC24XJB_pATGI2mrLwvDTOYm73pbtauh652VFwu-u49sgz_aOQADVJtUZ4YNPkVzq-n_YwbLBzcx7ZZYxYlytLwVHlfQ/s1600/IMG_0006.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; font-size: 17px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv0lHaSKtsf8ACx-KOhjq3R3bYiBZ28YgGdyGKIwDckXP_asukC24XJB_pATGI2mrLwvDTOYm73pbtauh652VFwu-u49sgz_aOQADVJtUZ4YNPkVzq-n_YwbLBzcx7ZZYxYlytLwVHlfQ/s200/IMG_0006.jpg" width="200" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Sharing my ventures with my 'traveling gnome', a drawing my 6 year old grand-daughter made for me, so I "wouldn't forget her". She asked me if I was going to Egypt. I told her, no, not to Egypt. She replied, "that's good. I don't want you to be a slave." Brooklyn, she pays close attention to those Bible stories she hears.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Meeting up with my niece and her husband in London after not seeing her little self for almost 30 years. A most fantastic time. She even made me a lunch for my day in the City. Such a sweet-heart.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Sending packages home with 'stuff' I pick up along the way. So many packages, the Post Office people asking my family at home 'what's with all the packages coming here from around the world?' <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">Making my way through Spanish in Spain, French in France and feeling pretty darn happy to be in English speaking country again. After moving from Spanish to French in such a short time, it was hilarious listening to me mixing up languages. And everywhere I go, folks were always helpful as we each enjoyed mutual giggles at their English and my foreign language attempts.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Stumbling my way through the catacombs in Paris. Thoroughly enjoying so many museums and theatres and churches and cathedrals, I’ll have to sort them all out later.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">Managing both the long-haul and in town metro, bus and train systems and grateful for their pretty much overwhelming efficiency. At least from my little point of reference. Laughing at the announcement on RyanAir, ‘and don’t forget, even you can be a millionaire with RyanAir’s new scratcher game!’</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Eating scrumptious pastries wherever I find them. Accomplishing the maze of the undergrounds in Paris and London. Walking on green grass in sunshine in Paris and London and just about everywhere else my feet take me. Opening my pretty new umbrella a handful of times and for short duration each. I can honestly report, I saw no dog-poop on the streets of Paris. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13pt;">Happy to be where I am where I am this very moment, contemplating what treasures are ahead of me tomorrow.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you to all the wonderful folks along the way. Re-connecting with couchsurfers, with friends and family around the world.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Spending a bit of time with friends and comrades - Adrienne, Ken, Dan, Chad, Mimoune, Francoise, Roger, Michelle, Brigitte, Val, Ray, Kerri & Andrew & Anne, Tim, Mary, Nina & Tim; Malcolm. Friends with whom I was privileged to stay in their home. And I’m not done yet.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13pt;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">A wise man told me that we don’t travel to see the world. We travel to see the people. So true. The people are the little connectors, the glue that keeps all the pieces of the puzzle in one place. </span></span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 13pt;">Difficult to do with some of us.</span></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-70771975539787766862013-03-16T06:53:00.006-07:002014-06-09T19:23:07.384-07:00Offers Discount ...<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXNymTeXFIMJMOSSGI117AhYci76cvZ6Tzyje9DEC2dRdvIGn7xL36eWJmDdoYw70ILgiEY7UMXoXnF_blJNzYJ_YrgJrQ9UkITwi30LgGlNsYpJFtIDxkJTBhJ0k6gb-nQjte_SYkFOE/s1600/100_9465.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXNymTeXFIMJMOSSGI117AhYci76cvZ6Tzyje9DEC2dRdvIGn7xL36eWJmDdoYw70ILgiEY7UMXoXnF_blJNzYJ_YrgJrQ9UkITwi30LgGlNsYpJFtIDxkJTBhJ0k6gb-nQjte_SYkFOE/s200/100_9465.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mae Nam Neighborhood Temple </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sidewalks w/Carved IN Storm Grates</td></tr>
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I suppose at one time or other when traveling, we might need to take a walk to find a pharmacy. For me, I developed a little infection on one of my ear piercings (not a new one) a few days ago. I asked around for directions, took a walk to the pharmacy, picked up some rubbing alcohol. I think that's what it is. It's aqua, smells like rubbing alcohol, only a bit sweeter. The infection is ebbing. I don't know, maybe I should taste it? Anyway. It was a nice walk, ended up being a couple miles, just because it felt good<br />
to walk around the neighborhood and explore.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Spirit House</td></tr>
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Walking back to my little hide-away at the Hutcha Resort on Mae Nam Beach, I decided to make a stop at the corner travel office. There's one on almost every corner in Thailand where you find tourists. I was thinking of going to two different areas on the island, and needed a bit of help getting there. Contrary to my initial mind-game that I play with myself, I decided on a couple of tours. I can't be on my own always, can I? 'Not much fun in that. <br />
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Nice lady in the office. Very helpful. She began to explain, in English, the tour to Angthon National Marine Park, which I was interested in, having read of it in my <a href="http://www.lonelyplanet.com/">www.lonelyplanet.com</a> Thailand Travel Guide.<br />
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She picked up the full color brochure, graced with beautiful pictures and bullet points of many amazing activities to fulfill my every desire. I asked how many Baht? She wrote 1500 on the brochure edge, smiled and told me, "Discount for you, Madam," as she writes 1300 Baht. LOL. Sign me up. <br />
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By this time, I was nice and comfy in the sturdy little teak chair parked at her desk. In walks the fellow who runs the internet cafe with an adjoining entrance to the travel office. He pulls a Singha Beer out of a cooler in the corner while he glances over at me. Well, of course, I asked him, jokingly, "Where's mine?" He laughs, makes some comment and says to me, "You from Russia?"<br />
"No, not Russia..."<br />
"Italy??"<br />
"No...not Italy, America! California" (That usually gets a good response...)<br />
"<i>AHHH, America! B a r a c k O b a m a !!!"</i> He goes on to say, "I'm not so good with language." And off he walks, laughing, chattering, by which time we're all laughing.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All Aboard to Boat #7 via the Long Boat</td></tr>
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Next up, I ask about the 'Giant Buddha on the hill', another place I would like to see. "Ahh, the giant Buddha! Yes..." She gathers yet another full color brochure with lots of beautiful photos and I sign up for that one, too. Angthon, Friday; Giant Buddha, Monday. That'll work. I have to space these things out. Otherwise, when will I get to laze around the beach??<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Angthong National Marine Park</td></tr>
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Well, well, well. Now I've gone on my first tour. AND, I had a fantastic time!! <br />
<br />
When all 35 or so of us first landed on the boat taking us to the Park, of course we didn't really know each other, we were all a bunch of strangers, a bit quiet, just looking around for a friendly face. An English speaking conversation would be a bonus.<br />
<br />
A young couple, turned out to be not a couple at all, but brother and sister, were close to me on one of the several large wooden bench/tables placed on the deck, under a large canvas covered tied down to provide shade. We began talking, had a couple Chang beers, and by the end of the trip, were good friends. They're on a 2-week holiday to visit friends who live here on Samui.<br />
<br />
Lisa and her brother, Matt from Gatwick, England. Matt works as a baggage handler at the Gatwick airport, has a grand fascination with all things wild - crocodiles, tigers, elephants, great whites and Thai boxing. Young guy, already planning the millions of Euros he will make in Real Estate, leaving a fortune to his children. I think he told me his dad is in Real Estate at this time.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lisa and Matt from Gatwick</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Lisa studies at University in Manchester to be a Social Worker. She told me with a little frown, saying some of her friends think it's a 'bad' thing to be a SW. "'taking away people's children and all." She wants to work with youth, with young people, to help them. Good on her. When not in school, she lives at home in Gatwick, close enough, she says, to see all the air traffic coming and going. She has the travel bug bad, has had incredible adventures. She totally cracked me up. <br />
<br />
All in all, we sailed the high seas, hiked the hills, laughed and laughed and told stories like we'd known each other for a lot more than a few hours.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Luncheon is Served </td></tr>
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We were all served a tasty Thai buffet lunch and all the watermelon and fresh pineapple slices we could eat. Usually any fresh fruit or vegie that comes in a thick skin is healthy enough to eat, since you peel away any germy stuff anyway. That's my rule, anyway. A young Indian couple joined us for lunch; they're visiting Thailand for the first time. Sweet people. They told us they don't swim, but they did take snorkeling gear and I later saw them walking in the shallows off the beach, with him balancing her under her waist, so she could bend over and look under the water.<br />
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<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Over the Emerald Lagoon (see it??)</td></tr>
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At the second beach we pulled into, I went out swimming to the farthest point within the buoys, where the water was clear and didn't see much at all. We had been warned that snorkeling here wasn't all that great because of the tides and everyone swimming around in the shallows. I took a mask with me anyway. On my swim back in, I did see several yellow black and blue striped Mollies, some dark gray ones, a few eels on the sand and loads of coral and seaweed growing and swinging in the current. <br />
<br />
As I reached the shore, a young Japanese couple were bending down looking into the water with their snorkle masks, near the shore, where everything is stirred up. I asked them, "Do you swim?" "No, no" they replied. Happy helper, me, I showed them with few words and many hand gestures that if they just walk out a bit, they will see some beautiful fish. So they turned and walked out that direction. I turned around, put my mask on for a last look beneath the waves, and OMG!! There were dozens of striped yellow, blue and white, black striped fishes just in front of me. And I just sent those fine people away!! I felt bad. When I looked out, they were having a good time, though, looking at something down there. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Three Amigos</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
At this same island, Matt took the big climb of the day, 400 meters. Lisa and I did 80 on the first island stop of the day, that was enough for us. We did a short kayaking around about at the first island, too. Fred would have been proud. My brother, big time rafter/kayaker who's taken me on at least one long rafting trip. I paddled and steered with the best of them, the front-'man' in a 2 person kayak. <br />
<br />
The guy sharing the kayak with me was on his own for the tour. We laughed, shared a few directional tips; he was a strong paddle man. Not bad looking, either. We managed paddling beneath some rock outcroppings without just a few crashes into them. Slight crashes. Tiny ones.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyuMTtB0bI0fv3YorXWJKIbXOEezpusfXxek1irF-REqOMoGq3obXkxqEIMsDlfSvTTYn17AFhvUXNmx8vIZwxrX_pNS54Q1ycqv_nYzmwDAdW6wL6UPPniKzCOY675GXe0bcYEj6uhIA/s1600/100_9654.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyuMTtB0bI0fv3YorXWJKIbXOEezpusfXxek1irF-REqOMoGq3obXkxqEIMsDlfSvTTYn17AFhvUXNmx8vIZwxrX_pNS54Q1ycqv_nYzmwDAdW6wL6UPPniKzCOY675GXe0bcYEj6uhIA/s320/100_9654.jpg" height="165" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">View from our Boat #7: Fishin for a Livin</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Alis, our Tour Guide was an excellent communicator. He gave instructions to the entire group, and then to small groups, so everyone would understand what would be happening. English as a second language. There are many, many, many tour groups out there, and I'm sure they don't want to lose anyone, or have someone get on the wrong boat. So we all knew, when he called <i>"Boat #7!!"</i>, it was time to pay attention. We were provided life jackets and waterproof boat bags for cameras and such. Good stuff. Just after I had booked this trip, I read some negative comments about this tour company on one of the well-known travel websites. I'm going back there and post a good reference as soon as I am able. The negative ones were a few years old, so I was willing to check it out. And I'm really glad I did. <a href="http://www.tripadviser.com/">www.tripadviser.com</a><br />
<br />
After we boarded for the trip home, about and hour and a half I think, we were waiting for a bit to get started. One of the tour guides opened up the side rail and let us know if anyone wanted to dive or jump in and swim around, it was okay to do so. A 20 yard jump into the sea! YES!! Matt was the first one in and I wasn't far behind him. There was the cutest little 6 year old German kid, Michael. He and his dad would jump in one after the other, he was just the cutest little froggie-boy!! I think Lisa got video of me jumping my last time. We'll see when we catch up later; hopefully we'll see each other again when I'm in their neck of the woods in just a couple months time.<br />
<br />
Good times, good food, cold beer, cool water and a hot sun made for a beautiful day with lots of great pictures. Lots of different boats on the sea to see, islands everywhere we looked, shifting cloud formations, the sea the color of so many shades of blue and green. The waves, the foamy drifts off the boat. The sea air. Ahhh.<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sir Paul</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
As we were lounging around on the boat trip back to Samui, I noticed what I thought was this huge yellow and black bumblebee. It mezmorized me, flying around the left side of the boat, my side, over the top and back again aft. Flying and swirling and flipping over and over again. Darn, if didn't want to get a picture of it. I tried and tried. <br />
<br />
Lisa told me, 'You ARE going to get a picture of that, don't you know."<br />
<br />
Just about when I'd given up, the little thing landed at a post right where we were sitting. It was a BEETLE! Right then and there, he was named Sir Paul.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our Tour Guide, Alis, with the End of the Trip Tip Basket</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The Boat ride back was nice and mellow. Such a change from complete strangers, quiet and alone to becoming good friends, or at least friendly. It's a lovely thing.<br />
<br />
With all this fun and such, I did manage to get my first (minor) sunburn on this current 'holiday'. Just enough to stay indoors for a bit. <br />
<br />
I'll get back out when the sun is a bit cooler in the late afternoon. Happy Hour time at the Pool and the Beach Bars. That's one thing about Hutcha Resort. Three different bars within one small space. Iced tea or coffee, Chang, fresh drinkable water, breakfast, lunch and dinner. Pina Coladas.....<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiztUipGkf-U0fogSAi4XgN7C6ZE18UxXRBmlGjbw6wE5HhkXWTZ3SRFdgS2ak3JnP2mLo4EQ4k8YRx3xKqoN81KtrJCrwzQgjanq89di9VWQAcmk3uS4b3uTYCbP6D_tYV1oNbtOv8Ep8/s1600/IMG_9527.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiztUipGkf-U0fogSAi4XgN7C6ZE18UxXRBmlGjbw6wE5HhkXWTZ3SRFdgS2ak3JnP2mLo4EQ4k8YRx3xKqoN81KtrJCrwzQgjanq89di9VWQAcmk3uS4b3uTYCbP6D_tYV1oNbtOv8Ep8/s320/IMG_9527.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a><br />
.<br />
.<br />
So yes.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.You <u>can</u> find discounts.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
. Just about anywhere. <br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
Just Hop Aboard.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com0Ko Samui, Surat Thani, Thailand9.5709593806128463 100.01403808593759.3203858806128466 99.6913145859375 9.8215328806128461 100.3367615859375tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-81874638260872916232013-03-13T03:08:00.001-07:002014-06-09T18:48:09.056-07:00My Six Handy Helpers on Holiday<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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1. Keep My Ear Plugs Handy<o:p></o:p></div>
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Always carry a few tiny packs of
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like having a few million extra Thai Baht. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyjts3zdIrQ6FEDB9evCiOXMSRyc7g-OcZkFAHJbFKHebzipnVulT4pstjoYTlLl1DDE47m8w96q-nm569xSAz6JckCPfX17IIY5cFfpdnyC4Z1crNHRdhCgAsNbGssFgjwnTQ7D1De1k/s1600/thai+bidet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyjts3zdIrQ6FEDB9evCiOXMSRyc7g-OcZkFAHJbFKHebzipnVulT4pstjoYTlLl1DDE47m8w96q-nm569xSAz6JckCPfX17IIY5cFfpdnyC4Z1crNHRdhCgAsNbGssFgjwnTQ7D1De1k/s200/thai+bidet.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a><o:p><br /></o:p></div>
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2. When Possible, Take Advantage of My Very Own Bidet.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Oh, not the fancy ones that you
install in a bathroom that look like a second fancy toilet. The ones that are really, just a long kitchen
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to the toilet. Nice, fresh cool water,
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<br /></div>
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Ipad, Iphone or Laptop. Write easily with a full keyboard, upload
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Silk, the color of a beautiful
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Take
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<br /></div>
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6. Biggest Rule of All.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMnbM2JXZEdQj1bozE_k0Xz0AX8gefp9gCm-NZ6HPjjvFkj5Y8ura1u8HMKaAkXsL7HguVwoplfcm5MrghWYQuuh9A6VPZSxQomERfRR8hqKlfwQnJ3qd7w1ij741KGA_mqmfqnsmXK6w/s1600/schlep.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMnbM2JXZEdQj1bozE_k0Xz0AX8gefp9gCm-NZ6HPjjvFkj5Y8ura1u8HMKaAkXsL7HguVwoplfcm5MrghWYQuuh9A6VPZSxQomERfRR8hqKlfwQnJ3qd7w1ij741KGA_mqmfqnsmXK6w/s1600/schlep.jpg" /></a>Pack like Jack Reacher. I’m not there yet. Not at all.
I’m working on it. You wouldn’t
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<br /></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-71054528558767982122013-03-13T03:03:00.000-07:002014-06-09T18:44:10.773-07:00You Can't be Too Safe...For some reason, I enjoy starting my trips out of town on the local bus to the ferry to the airport. So this afternoon, I did just that. Just as I was seeing the #10 bus arrive (my bus), I realized (by reading the sign on the pole) that it wasn't MY bus. Because... a while back, the local transit district had a facelift. Oh, yes, I skimmed the story in the paper. But I wasn't taking the bus then, so the details eluded me. Hence, my not knowing the #10 doesn't go to the ferry anymore! But, ah, the #11 does, and it was just another 1/2 hour wait. Just long enough to walk into the Kentucky Fried Chicken right behind me for 3 chicken strips. Cooked fresh, just for me.<br />
<br />
So _____ called, popped over to say goodbye, brought her one-hitter and also hit me up for one of those chicken strips. Of course. Sure, I'll share my chicken, she shared her one-hitter. After all, I'm on my way to the airport, going on a long trip. Who knows when I'll see that bit of herb again? 'made for a relaxed and entertaining trip.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWusT2rEXIiW8EoaGN4SwHoP2FcSNFgEcyyGkXyNmex3N5JkHfYF1t58UZYdT_PZtQC0hdjhXuwZIexm986QWfhcO4I8EFLIobl_l-ThH5UpZr4LUva8sCa0d2KXzzV0FGMm1DVpBFExA/s1600/bay+bridge+lights.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWusT2rEXIiW8EoaGN4SwHoP2FcSNFgEcyyGkXyNmex3N5JkHfYF1t58UZYdT_PZtQC0hdjhXuwZIexm986QWfhcO4I8EFLIobl_l-ThH5UpZr4LUva8sCa0d2KXzzV0FGMm1DVpBFExA/s1600/bay+bridge+lights.jpg" /></a></div>
When the ferry floated up to the Ferry Building, we were in for a treat. While waiting for the ferry, I read an article about the new lights on the new edition of the Bay Bridge. Wow! Amazing - a real light show. <br />
<br />
I get to the airport, here I am standing in line, of course, another line, to the ticket counter. 'surrounded by travelers with huge boxes and assorted packages of belongings and gifts I am pretty sure they are 'taking home' to their families. I'm on China Airlines, pretty easy generalization. I watch this 79-year old looking man, maybe 5'6", 180#, pushing one of those airport luggage carts to the counter piled with high three giant suitcases. Then he leaves the cart at the counter, lithely sprints back to where he left something, and comes walking back to the counter - with his walker! <br />
<br />
Since the last time I traveled out of country, a new step in the anti-terrorist plot has taken hold. Now they swipe our hands 'for chemicals'. I asked, "what chemicals", and the young TSA woman told me, almost in a whisper, 'for explosives'. REALLY??? I could feel my good mood slipping away. But no, there was more.<br />
<br />
Then they had to test my knee brace for chemicals and have me patted down. I swear, REAALLY??? The nice lady behind me said, "Well, I guess you can't be too safe." So lest I lose my excitement, I found the bar, had a double shot of JD, some fruit, a few crackers and cheese and I was on my merry way.<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-90819237336743222832013-03-08T01:05:00.001-08:002014-06-09T20:08:23.063-07:00Window Seat<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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‘Sitting in the window seat, one seat between the Big Guy on
the aisle and myself. ’thinking, wow,
maybe I’ll have a little space on this long flight halfway around the world. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7FEeL8wSolBtI1ZtyfjTzbSOafojAWgVUkrwmUNlaP7b5o9pKKH9QGUpDRs_AjiBMdk1tZ0cnCwNWILp7dkzIi0GlaggS-dAHQ2nemRK5TUE8eKERkh-WDnmHikVlCBIyUmPwGZ_3Z2k/s1600/IMG_9191.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7FEeL8wSolBtI1ZtyfjTzbSOafojAWgVUkrwmUNlaP7b5o9pKKH9QGUpDRs_AjiBMdk1tZ0cnCwNWILp7dkzIi0GlaggS-dAHQ2nemRK5TUE8eKERkh-WDnmHikVlCBIyUmPwGZ_3Z2k/s320/IMG_9191.jpg" height="320" width="239" /></a></div>
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Instead I have a new friend.
Her name is Chasti, she’s a Filipina RN, working in the States, going
‘home’ for a month to visit her family. We sat together and shared a bit of our lives with each other from the west coast of California to Taipei in the East. Her husband is a Firefighter/Emergency Services guy, works alongside her. They have a one year old son, who
lives with her birth family when she and hubby are off working on the Carnival
Cruise ship based out of Florida. No, she wasn’t on the boat that broke down a few weeks ago. Her
husband went home a few weeks ago, and she’s following. She told me her contracts are a written up
differently with their dates on and off.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I asked her about her work on the Cruise Ship. She told me there are three RNs who rotate
around the clock, 2 always on, 1 off.
Two MDs on the ship. I asked her
the types of calls they get. I
wondered. People with chronic conditions
that flare up? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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In rare circumstances. ‘Most of the patients she sees are
fools. Vacationers who look at all that
food (that they already paid for), thinking now, “it’s free”. Gluttony kicks in, they eat more than they
can handle, get sick and “Help, help, I need help!” <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or the couple at the bar, when the lady slips down the oak to
flirt with some other guy. Then HER GUY,
drunk with madness, starts a fight! <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I suppose it should come as no surprise. A few years in Isla Holbox, a tiny island off
the tip of the Yucatan, I came across a little medical clinic. Of course I went to check it out. The Doctor there told me just about the same
story. Drunk tourists who fall down the stairs,
break their leg. Get in fights and fall down. People, what are you
doing out there??<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-9668193431831153752012-08-25T09:32:00.000-07:002014-06-09T18:31:13.959-07:00Sharing is Caring - or an Invitation to a Fight<br />
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px;">
</div>
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0px;">We’re on a full-to-the-brim 36-bed male unit for the severely Mentally Ill. Three score of 22-57 year olds and the NA/AA (Narcotics Anonymous/Alcoholics Anonymous) meeting is in session. Most of the ‘groups’ that take place here are staff-initiated. This group is different. One of our borderline, paranoid schizophrenic patients, JZ, initiated this meeting. He’s totally delusional most of the time. But he has his good days. The stories he tells - we wonder, really?? Stories about 'the Haight', places we recognize. We laugh a lot with him.</span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0px;">JZ asked to get NA started, even explained to us how to get the books and materials necessary for a real meeting. He wanted to make sure ‘we can we have coffee & donuts, okay?’ We encouraged him to get other interested patients to sign up, and so he did. It’s not anonymous, but that’s the way it is here. Nothing is anonymous. About a third of the guys on the unit put their name to paper. </span><br />
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0px;">I’ve been to a few of these meetings now; I must say I’m learning more about these guys now than I did in years of ‘working’ with them. They speak from their hearts, and sometimes I just want to cry. Steven, who told of starting to drink when his “wife left me and took my kids, I was so damned lonely”. Or Kelly, who spoke of when he was “two or three years old, my dad, he’d beat my mom all the time; I couldn’t do anything about it. He’d come home and beat her and then one time he stabbed her over and over and over again and he went to prison. He got out and came back and started beating her again. I was just a kid, I couldn’t do anything”. In my opinion, a lot of these guys are the remnants of a sick and apathetic society that didn't take care of them when they were so very, very small and innocent.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">It’s 1030, military time, at the 24-hour locked state mental hospital where I work as a Registered Nurse. My job is to pass medications, assess for physical illnesses, complete reams of paperwork, and at all times, assess for antecedent behavior that could erupt in violence. It's dangerous here. Danger strikes patients, staff and police officers alike. People die here. Not always from illness. People are assaulted EVERY DAY here by severely mentally ill patients. Patients, people that you don’t want living next door to you, or in the grocery store with your family. Psychiatric treatment here is a difficult task. Staffing cuts have left few professionals to provide barely minimal treatment to help some of the guys get out of here. Some of them will never get out.</span></div>
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Saturday on the unit. Weekends are the sweetest time, no appointments off unit, no escorts to clinics, no management folks visiting the units. Everyone loves a weekend. Most of the patients want to lay around and rest in their bedrooms; four patients to a room. A few of them get up to watch TV or play chess or dominoes, listen to some music. They come out for meals and ‘med-time’ - sometimes that’s the extent of their presence. Many patients here are diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia; they really do feel safer in their rooms, away from other people. No surprise there.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">At one of these meetings, JZ, our ‘facilitator’, is sitting quietly, intently listening to one of the participants read from the NA book. He notices Jorge walk in and sit down across from him. JZ opens up the NA/AA binder and gently passes over the Spanish speaking materials to Jorge, whose native language is Spanish. WOW. That was nice. </span></div>
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">We observe and attempt to interact with these guys - many of them forlorn, talking to themselves, yelling at noone, pacing nowhere, shadow-boxing with the air, or staring out the windows at the end of the hall. Most of them are estranged from family, living off the kindness of strangers. We ‘strangers’ slowly become their main contact with the outside world. </span></div>
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">We’re cursed and threatened, and sometimes, hit. We’re also loved and respected once in a while. The ‘kindnesses’ we show our patients is just part of our job. The kindness seen as JZ handed those pamphlets to his peer, that’s what touches me. A year ago, he couldn’t have done that. He was so ill, violent, so full of voices and hatred, kindess was merely lurking somewhere deep in his heart. The miracle drugs he takes every day, the caring and professional help given to him, have brought his own sleeping kindness to the surface. Not all the time. Some of the time. That’s progress.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Outside the doors of the unit, out where I live, where you live, we encourage giving, sharing and caring. Here we we see it in the NA/AA meetings. Most often though, on the unit, it’s a no-no. Patients aren’t allowed to share tangible items with others. Too much of a setup for people. The basic rule is, ‘if someone tries to share something with you, don’t do it’. Don’t share food or ball-caps, or pants or shirts or headphones. Sooner or later, as we’ve seen time after time, someone will be accused of stealing whatever it is, or ‘not paying for it’, or ‘didn’t give it back yesterday’, or ‘broke it’, or ‘gave it to someone else’. And the fighing begins.</span></div>
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">Here, as in much of society, the weak and helpless are easily taken advantage of by the strong and mean. Our borderline, anti-social guys easily intimidate the weaker ones. Please, no sharing allowed. Sometimes I want to look the other way at some of their sharing. It seems so darn sincere, a fine act of kindness. I also know that if I do, it will come back to bite me and everyone involved. </span></div>
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">All of life here is a work in progress. The patients who are eventually released from this place are the ones who learn to be quiet and polite, store their belongings in their locker, keep to themselves, stay away from fights, take their meds and stop sharing. All of us on the unit, patients who live here, and staff who come and go every shift, look for ways to keep out of harm’s way. We keep in mind, most of the time, that help and kindness really are just around the corner.</span></div>
<div style="min-height: 14px;">
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: 0px;">The guys learn to be kind to themselves. They learn some sort of kindness to others. They learn how to get what they want without fighting. And then we say good-bye to them.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-17632884020626673192011-09-07T14:00:00.000-07:002014-06-09T18:26:37.169-07:00Remember the Roller Coaster?.<br />
When I was a little girl, oh, about 7, 9 years old, my parents were both 'practicing' alcoholics. Many evenings would end with a frying pan flying through the air. From my mom's hand to my dad's head. Then, for some reason, Daddy would grab me, take me out to the car and drive down to the Boardwalk. We'd go to the roller coaster and ride it over and over and over again. When the Boardwalk closed up for the night, we'd go home and all would be quiet until the very next time.<br />
<br />
I know Daddy suffered years and years of PTSD, depression, various physical ailments all as a result of his years as a POW, captured on Wake Island, early in WWII. Years of fear and loathing, afraid to be alone working through it, years of hard work and many successes. Can you imagine? As a POW, after his group had completed loading train cars full of lumber, they ran out of lumber. So their captors then forced these POWs to dig holes in the ground and throw the dirt up onto the train. Then they had to push the train several hundred yards and unload the dirt. To build a dirt mountain. 300 feet high. To keep 'em busy. And that's just one short story of his years in Chinese and Japanese camps.<br />
<br />
Now he's 93 years old, has outlived most of his peers, his POW buddies, his friends, including my mom and his brothers. He's fairly healthy, doesn't really want to complain much about his body full of aches and pains. His mind is certainly deteriorating. He's alienated the few friends he had close to home because of his paranoid dementia and false accusations. Even though his peers and friends know it's a confused mind, they can't forgive him. <br />
<br />
So he's more or less alone in his town of 45 years. Too confused to live alone there any longer. A few years of angst has brought us to this point, and now he's moving here to be close to family who will look in on him every day, grandkids and great grandkids who will get to spend some time with Grandpa Russ.<br />
<br />
It feels like we're on the roller coaster all over again. Crawling up the hill, Daddy's argumentative and resistant, (fearful, I'm sure) then we coast down and around the corner and he's excited to move, looking forward and shedding tears of joy to be with his family. My gut is screaming about doing all this, how to do it, when to do it, how to do it.<br />
<br />
We've got his apartment, beautiful place with lots of amenities, across the street and near the Napa River. He can walk down the street and throw a line in. Independent Senior Living. Meals, special events, happy hour every night, new friends, transportation, cable TV all included. He WILL enjoy it, once he settles in. I can't wait. <br />
<br />
But right now, my life is not my own and I don't like it. It's my control thing. And his. Two steps forward, one step back.<br />
<br />
I really do feel as if I'm back on that train again, taking a deep breath, speeding around that corner, hands reaching up to the sky, mouth wide open, screaming and screeching to a hard stop.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-33446897318204583682011-08-01T20:56:00.000-07:002014-06-09T18:20:48.896-07:00Flashing Red Light.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
Jimmy woke with a start, breathing heavily, holding back the tears. Oh my gosh, it was a dream.<br />
<br />
He lay there propped on one elbow, sighing at the blue sky, the light fog over the distant hills, the trees tapping at the window. <br />
<br />
"Thank goodness, it's a new day, I'll call her today, see if she's still alive."<br />
<br />
It was a month since 'the elusive one' told Jimmy why she believes she's dying. It'd been a while since they'd last seen each other. To Jimmy, each time was a little treasure.<br />
<br />
"I'm not happy any more. I'm NOT going to change how I live, and I HATE doctors! I can hardly get around and one of these days, I'm going to not be able to catch my breath that one last time." <br />
<br />
She spoke about all the negative stuff involved in staying alive, and as they talked, she started talking more positively, just a tiny bit, as if all the weariness finally found a place to steam off, a heart open to her vent. She never did have many friends, two of the three loves in her life died long ago. Family was gone.<br />
<br />
Jimmy thought over this all morning long, as he did almost every day. He finished some work he had at home, took a shower, had a smoke, a deep breath, and a good strong drink. Slowly, slowly, he finally dialed that number.<br />
<br />
"Oh, good you're still alive. It's the one of your third loves you haven't outlived yet." He told her his experience a few hours earlier. "I was taking a shower, listening to some tunes, feeling good, and all of a sudden - - I felt this terrible pin-prick in my finger - I thought maybe you'd just died." <br />
<br />
"Oh, no," she laughed, "I have a few good months, maybe a few good years left. 'just taking it easy, that's all, trying not to wear myself out."<br />
<br />
They talked, paused, listened, a little give, a little take, one foot forward, two steps back. <br />
<br />
"Can I come visit one day?" <br />
"Well, you know I don't like company. And I guess if I say no, I'll hurt your feelings." <br />
"No, you won't, I know you, I know how you live, it's okay if you don't want company." <br />
"Well, I guess a short visit sometime would be okay."<br />
"Short visit's good, a little talk, some time to see each other. How about one of these next Fridays, in a couple weeks?"<br />
"Oh, oh, well, now you're making plans. I suppose if it's going to be any day, Friday's good. Happy Hour for me - Monday, Wednesday, Friday, my Happy Hour, anytime after 3 o'clock. Red wine time. The only time I'm happy."<br />
"Okay, if I'm coming up, I'll give you a call and let you know."<br />
<br />
And that was it. A simple short phone call. Jimmy hung up the phone, smiled, breathed out a heavy long sigh, feeling good for the first time since waking up. He got on his bike, rode that seven miles to the gym and back, had a nice long swim, dinner with the boys.<br />
<br />
It was a good day. One more day of life. And another night of biting his lip and holding back the tears.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-6286943401565184062011-07-14T19:39:00.000-07:002014-06-09T18:16:02.190-07:00Sunrise, Sunset*<br />
*<br />
At the end of my day, a little link caught my eye as I quickly scanned those pesky little emails. I calmly sat back, in awe as I viewed this short film. An amazing post courtesy of a fellow couch-surfer. It caught me and wouldn't let go. Here it is. Come back when you're done. <br />
.<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6xBz1EnNMs&feature=player_detailpage">Watch this...</a><br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
When I finished that sweet movie, a creepy thought skittered through my mind. I was disturbed that it came up at all, because I really enjoyed that beautiful true-in-life vignette and was feeling the warmth of it all. Was my wandering mind the result of the nasty politics playing out around the world? I don't know. <br />
<br />
But I couldn't help but think of all the many wars waged, so many 'killings' so many, many reasons, seasons after seasons, sunrise, sunset, battlefields ablaze. Before the Quiet. <br />
<br />
And then, sometimes, not all the time, sometimes, the one left standing, 'the victor' turns around to support and bring up those they just tore down. <br />
<br />
Why must we create havoc in the first place? Is it truly all about survival?<br />
<br />
It's insanity at its best. We fuss and fight about who's best, who's strongest, who has the most money and who dies with the most toys. <br />
<br />
Is it really worth it? Can't we just stumble upon something, someone, somewhere, love them, help them? Be happy in it? Let's do THAT.<br />
<br />
Or was that what the video is all about, after all??<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-24836357228056543722010-12-30T08:54:00.000-08:002014-06-09T18:14:47.530-07:00Here We Are Again.<br />
.<br />
At the end of every year, I look over my calendars, pictures, reliving just what it was that happened in the past year, thinking on what plans I can make for next. Each year is always a gift and a wonder, 2010 was no different. <br />
<br />
Traveling good times close to home and far away to the Yucatan. That was just my first cold winter time trip to a warm sunny place. Next month, to Thailand. Almost there....<br />
<br />
Holidays, birthdays, and just good old days with friends and family.<br />
<br />
Peyton's first baby steps. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjx5Z-4-VTbtLpsAysjIz3NNvvSDVhH-NcVk4VCjEsKhEMwh4AKVUzuXATOpqC_j1S-KJp9Uxwy9-pAEe8tSUMuwD_PsUCJ2lB18C1TqjbUcVF7XL9ToPvBK0CD6ff5mJAOldB5N3KqsU/s1600/%252710springbreak+014.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjx5Z-4-VTbtLpsAysjIz3NNvvSDVhH-NcVk4VCjEsKhEMwh4AKVUzuXATOpqC_j1S-KJp9Uxwy9-pAEe8tSUMuwD_PsUCJ2lB18C1TqjbUcVF7XL9ToPvBK0CD6ff5mJAOldB5N3KqsU/s320/%252710springbreak+014.jpg" height="166" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Slowly learning to live with increased stress at work. <br />
<br />
Fun loving days on the Wine Train, Hot Air Ballooning, visits to the City. Several exciting visits from new couch surfer friends and pals from near and far.<br />
<br />
Happily, more healthy days than not. Good to have family moving in, to share my time at home. Warm and smiling camp days in the hills with EHC.<br />
<br />
Saddest time: Bobby leaving this world. Never my heart.<br />
<br />
Bliss and wonder at the DeYoung and the SF MOMA. Bigger than all of us - fundraiser, family time in Sonoma. <br />
<br />
Anthony Bourdain... in person.<br />
<br />
This is the best part. After looking at all these good times, I was looking for my budget planning stuff, it's somewhere in this computer, I'm sure of it. I did a desktop search, search phrase: BUDGET PLANNING BOOK. This is just a portion of what I got!! Think someone’s trying to tell me something?? LOL<br />
<br />
---Cheap Travel all over the world<br />
you can make your budget as a simple trip .. 12 pm I am planning a trip to South America .. aircraft.and same applies to booking ,book ahead as much as possible. also<br />
<br />
---Quit your job and travel! Digest for Group: Properties Charity City Budget City Election City .. Oldetowne Parades Planning &Code Planning .. FY12 Grant Funding Gaithersburg Book Festival Announces Short Story. [CS digest] Cheap Travel all over the world. <br />
<br />
---bulk of my budget unless i hitchhike which .. many pennies as i can as well! my budget is tight and i want to get probably .. MOUNTAINS. Get some book first, with CDs. [CS digest] Travelers. i'm on somewhat of a tight budget. i'm looking for another. Hello I am also planning the same. I have never .. find a match first book ur tickets and use...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-72737625904666275562010-12-23T20:05:00.000-08:002014-06-09T18:10:12.051-07:00Do I have a Family?.<br />
Crawling into bed, pillows and blankets wrapping me to slumber, my mind's eye story-telling the day. Holidays, excitement, joy, loneliness for too many.<br />
<br />
He asks me, "Do I have a family? I don't even know anymore if they are alive or dead." No information in his records. Just a bunch of words telling a story of defeat, wandering pain, his own nowhere man-ness. I want to send him a package from his family so he will think he has one. But I don't. My role in his life, his one and only life, is to support him, teach him, reign him in when need be, assure his safety in this place he calls prison, we call hospital. <br />
<br />
Tossing and turning, thoughts of our sad wandering minstrel, just smart enough to know how sick he is. Day after day, drawings and songs, stories to the King. He breaks my heart, so young, so forlorn, so much wanting to be well, to make a life for himself.<br />
<br />
So I drink to me. I drink to my health. And theirs. Let's salute all these poor souls. One day, long ago, a sweet little babe was born to a village full of smiles and love. Somewhere along the way, doubt showed up, pain flowered and suffering took over.<br />
<br />
So we try to soften the blows. A birthday cake. Christmas stockings filled with little treats: top ramen, candy canes, hot chocolate packets. Buy a pizza. Show another movie. Feel my own compassion. Show it. Smile again. Love someone. Anyone. <br />
<br />
And go to sleep at the end of the day in my nice warm bed.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-88006514838544106612010-10-29T13:06:00.000-07:002014-06-09T18:06:58.307-07:00Bobby.<br />
.<br />
Eagles "Lyin' Eyes playing on the radio, softening my heart, as I called Lynda, to hear that "Kathy, we lost him. Bobby died Wednesday morning in his sleep. It was very peaceful, it really was. He had the most blissful look on his face."<br />
<br />
Well, Bobby lived a life of bliss. Courageous, loving, funny, always curious, living to listen, to learn, keeping his notes on life. That beautiful smile, the twinkle in his eyes will linger forever in my heart. To the last minute, thinking so much of his lovely wife and family as he moved to the next chapter in his own life. I miss that I didn't get to see him tomorrow, wrapping up a basket of 'special' brownies that he was so looking forward to nibbling.<br />
<br />
Tahoe in June was to be our last visit. Those few days were such a blessing. Lynda, Bobby, Michael, Mr. P. and me, talking, reading, living in the silence, in the beauty of a wonderful world, oh, and eating at the Chinese restaurant. A short interlude that put the icing on the cake of our lifetime of memories. So many years, so many, many years. I miss him so. <br />
<br />
Bobby knew the art of living and dying. Such a good man. Thank you, Bobby. Thank you for being here.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-28905180046400227042010-10-24T18:04:00.000-07:002013-11-06T11:07:21.674-08:00Rainy Leaves.<br />
.<br />
Walking home, I couldn't get her out of my mind. I'd never even seen her. But I know her. We all know her. Close to retirement, her son killed in a car wreck two years ago. Fifty four years old, raising her grand-daughter because her daughter is unable to do so. <br />
<br />
All I see now is her broken body, laying in the rain, bleeding and soiled, the breath taken from her by one mentally ill patient with a long history of violence and assault. <br />
<br />
Outside, cold and rainy, first rainfall of the season. Still daylight. The Officer didn't have a hard time finding her. Dead and soiled, bleeding and wet.<br />
<br />
More police officers joined in. Administrators. Crying staff, shocked patients.<br />
<br />
Begging for more security, more safety on the units. For the vulnerable patients, the really sick ones who are dependent on us for everything from their food to the bed they sleep in. Safety for the workers. Patients and workers who are assaulted on a DAILY basis at this place of healing. The place we come to serve, to work an honest day for an honest day's pay.<br />
<br />
We grieve with our glass of wine, our quiet conversation, our shock and dismay. We pick up our quiet resolve and walk in circles. We mourn for Donna. For ourselves. For a system, made up of people, real human beings. A system failed.<br />
<br />
Raindrops, a steady chorus from the sky, flatten the leaves that fell from that giant oak. Wet, brown, orange, yellow, scattered across the lawn and over the asphalt. Leaves of rain. Tears of pain.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-86063554128912747872010-09-16T19:35:00.000-07:002010-09-16T19:35:41.925-07:00Four Walls II: Destination...Or Hallucination?.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
<br />
It's funny to me that the one paragraph that was my last thought, an after-thought, really, is what keeps me daydreaming on my bike ride this morning. Comments from readers and friends spurring me on in my thinking, my processing, my feeling. Two men in my life who mean much to me responded to my writing. Their responses were quite different. I'm mulling over their words, his words, his words, and his/his thoughts, perspective, feelings. Suddenly it is so clear to me. <br />
<br />
I remember a day in San Francisco a few years ago. Sitting back in the apartment, windows open to the brisk autumn evening fog. Listening to the sounds of a concert in the park. I remember thinking "Oh, I should go to that concert, they're right there!". The music rippling through the breeze and into my heart. I relaxed into the love, my soul whispering, "Oh, my gosh, it was such a joy." The memories warmed me as a blanket wrapping itself around me. I was there again. I lay back listening to the faint sounds drifting across the fields, soaring over the lake, music, the joyful cheering, friends and lovers cover the ground enthralled with the music. "Incredible." Slowly, sneaking into my head, crawling under the surface, "I don't HAVE to do go there. Just because I've done it before, just because it was lovely then." I already live in the memory, the love of all the other times.<br />
<br />
This morning, I think I recognize that in my longing for a partner, a lover. Really, my true love came to me more than once, in different packaging. We dream, we love, we sing, we dance, we shed tears together and laugh at the possibilities. Each moment, every touch, the tiny-est hush of love. "Oh, yes, that was wonderful. It is."<br />
<br />
My one true love is with me always, each and every one of them. Each different as night and day. I don't need to keep looking for it, him, or him, or... The love is mine to keep.<br />
<br />
My life now is such that I could almost explode from the love that surrounds me, holds me, lifts me up. No need to go looking for it. I shake my head in disbelief that I would walk right past it. <br />
<br />
I wouldn't, couldn't fly with a dove. I shouldn't, mustn't, bypass my love. It's right in my fingers, in so many flavors I could scream.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-5526191147174800172010-09-14T12:53:00.000-07:002010-09-14T16:17:29.151-07:00Four Walls.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
<br />
"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." John Lennon<br />
<br />
I've had few years of living by myself. Each and every one wonderful, filled with warmth, happily dancing through skies dotted with lyrical life lessons. Living within four walls. Peace and quiet. Happy laughter, joy, tears, beginnings and endings. Marriage and partnerships, yes, have been a big part of my life. History lessons. After a while, 'the children' grew up, sprouted their own wings and flew off to their dream-scapes. I sung the joy in the watching.<br />
<br />
Very soon, through a series of changes, I will have family living within these four walls again. I find myself full of such joyful anticipation in their company, each of us leaning on our love, strength and patience as our walls no doubt fill with expansion. <br />
<br />
Coming down the pike is a good lesson in interdependence vs independence. Society has encouraged independence for such a long time. As I look at it with wiser heart and older vision, I think we're missing out. The stories that each of us share every day, the generations melding together in daily life. Not just on a holiday weekend that is quickly over and done with, arms filled with goodbyes 'til the next time.<br />
<br />
As a friend so accurately put it, bringing the tribe together, even for a short time, paints such a smile on my only slightly wrinkled face. I can't wait to enjoy each and every minute we have together. And yet, I'm already planning my own travel again, giving them space, gaining my own.<br />
<br />
And Yes, I must admit, I still long for that one true love who wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Because of who I am. Because we love and treasure the company of one another. Fun, passionate, philosophical, kind, patient. The one who will do anything to have me around. So far, that guy has eluded me. <br />
<br />
Oooohhhh, I think I see a new headline, I hear the walls bursting open...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-80790596517892564882010-09-02T23:39:00.000-07:002010-09-14T11:47:08.291-07:00Dinner DancingThe evening ends, brightly blooming into night. Exhausted, excited all scrunched up. How can we be so tired and have so much to say and have so little energy left for which to wrap up? Life is a million moments racing through our day.<br />
<br />
Loving tunes young women and old sing out with every sweet breath as they sigh at the full moon. The moon. I belongs to every set of eyes in the universe. You. Me. Her. Him. Them. Us. Pain eats at me when I think of the simplicity of it all. And how terribly sad it is that so many don't see it. I understand love. And peace. And I understand when it's missing from our life, and the world that wraps us up in it. <br />
<br />
Hoping. and running. laying and rolling. skipping. riding. loving. love-ing. loving with every bit of your heart. comes so naturally. to me. to you.<br />
<br />
Thoughts fleeing. write about work. write about life. write about love. write about broken hearts. broken dreams. rainbows. a cool river in the heat of the day. a tire-swing rolling out across the rippling coolness and dropping me right into the current.<br />
<br />
Fear, longing, anticipation. Joy. Love. Excitement. Happiness. wet. dry. sober. drunk. high. alive. alive. alive. alove. a-love. alone. <br />
<br />
Painful. Again. Why? Why not? travel to foreign lands. Afghanistan. Thailand. Brazil, Peru, Chile, Argentina. Cuba. philippines. Coventry. Adana. Liege. NYC. Aspen. Perth. seaside, mountain streams, snow covered peaks.<br />
<br />
laying my head down for the dreams I never know.<br />
<br />
The nothing. the whole ball of wax.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-30762370032971035432010-07-26T22:47:00.000-07:002010-07-27T10:37:25.822-07:00It's one of those things. . . . . .<br />
<br />
Shock<br />
<br />
Dismay<br />
<br />
Grief<br />
<br />
Stillness <br />
<br />
Four <br />
Years <br />
Later. <br />
<br />
T'was a summer day<br />
in July<br />
<br />
Matthew Paul Stephens took his life. <br />
<br />
He slayed the dragon. <br />
<br />
Gone for good.<br />
Over the ridge <br />
To never be seen again.<br />
<br />
Who would have guessed?<br />
<br />
The young ones lose <br />
Their Father<br />
<br />
She loses<br />
A friend.<br />
<br />
What does it matter?<br />
<br />
Now it all matters.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.<br />
.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2023549681134489759.post-12995992025427724012010-07-23T21:41:00.000-07:002010-07-25T15:03:07.300-07:00I Wish I Wasn't So Hungry...Once upon a time, a European wing-ged creature settled here, first detected in 2009. Not stopped, this little European grape moth causes rot. Big problem here in wine country.<br />
<br />
Tonight - beautiful evening, sitting and reading on the porch as the sun settled down, moving aside to make way for the growing moon, almost to its fullest. I walk in-doors, relaxing with a little chemical romance. And here I sit, a little high on my throne, thinking back to another day, another time and another European wing-ged creature.<br />
<br />
The one I'm thinking of now is the one who flies across whole continents and oceans in a steel carriage, walks upright. He quickly sweeps beneath and carries you away off your feet. <br />
<br />
He was here and then he was gone. Away. Near. Now. Far Away. <br />
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One part of me feels as if I never really met him, and the other feels as if we've never been apart.<br />
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For the peace and joy of it, I'll take the second part. Part 2. Better than the very first and never at the end. Beginnings come early and often. There's always another chance to begin, and to keep beginning. <br />
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A never-ending story.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18341969225584554580noreply@blogger.com0